The last thing you want is a gaudy pair of eyeglasses. You've seen the young would-be hipsters in their squares and cat-eye frames. You'll admit, when you're in an expansive and generous mood, that those glasses look pretty good on them. But you know they're not for you. You're the guy who, when you see two boxes, one marked "Style" and one marked "Substance", you always go for the one marked "Substance". So here's your perfect frame. No frills, just high quality, in a full-rim, medium-large, metal, Get it in Black or Silver, two no-frills colors that are perfect for a utilitarian frame lover like you.